The Adventure's of General Hux's Cat-Sitter
by BronzeMosasaur
Summary: General Hux is told he can no longet get Junior Officers to look after Millicent, so he hires a full time cat-sitter instead, needless to say, Millicent is happy to continue causing mayhem in the way only cats can. Crack Fic Rated M due to Language
1. Prologue

The Adventures of General Hux's Cat-sitter

Authors note – this is a CrackFic, or a CatFic, depending you your point of view. After-all, who doesn't love the idea of Millicent causing absolute mayhem.

Prologue

When The First Order had come for Issy, she had expected to be shot, not recruited, though she was not too thrilled to be answering directly to General Hux. They had not told her what the job was, but she was sensible enough to sign the paperwork when 'requested'.  
The Finalizer was intimidating, but she had expected no less, she was escorted to a small meeting room where a tired looking junior officer was waiting.

"Right, I'll try to keep this brief, everything you will need to know is in these data pads." he pushed a box containing at least twenty of them towards her. "Did they tell you what you would be doing?"  
"Not really. . ."  
"Thought as much, it may seem like a simple task, but it isn't." he twitched, as if some painful memory had come to mind.  
"Right, you will be given the rank of Sargent for this job, for a number of reasons. . . and you will get access to anywhere on the ship, but only for the purposes of doing your job."  
"Which is?" Issy was trying not to shake in fear.  
"Do you like cats?"  
"Yes. . ." she answered, unsure of the change in topic  
"Good, your job. . . is to look after Millicent. . . General Hux's cat."  
"Ah, I see."  
CRASH  
BANG  
"Ow, she's done it again!"  
"Medic, ow, ow, medic!"  
The junior officer opened the door to see what was going on and a plump ginger tabby cat raced into the room, jumped onto the table and started to demand fuss from Issy.  
"And that is Millicent." the Junior officer points to the cat, "Well, she hasn't tried to claw your hand off yet, so good start, I'll have a Stormtrooper show you to your quarters, and I'll take Millicent back to General Hux's quarters, I will come by your quarters in an hour to begin your orientation, I expect you to be in uniform then. Understand?"  
"Yes Sir." Issy really did not know what to think, she had a job, with the first order, looking after a cat, if The Force was real it certainly had a strange sense of humour.


	2. Chapter 1

The Adventures of General Hux's Cat-sitter

Authors note – this is a CrackFic, or a CatFic, depending you your point of view. After-all, who doesn't love the idea of Millicent causing absolute mayhem.

Chapter 1

Issy looked around her new quarters and sighed, it was all pretty basic, but the bed was comfy enough, and she got her own refresher room. There was also a box of lint rollers, with instructions on how to requisition more when needed.  
There was a small table, a couple of chairs, a wardrobe with drawers, and a plain floor length mirror. She also had a guide to what laundry was collected on which days, the cleaning schedule, rubbish collection and all the other random information that a new recruit would need. The First Order really had thought of everything.  
She still had over half an hour before her orientation, so she decided to start reading through the data slates she had been provided.

She went through the box and saw that the slates were grouped in various bundles and each bundle had a label.  
"Millicent, the basics." she read out loud to herself, "Might as well start."  
The slates in the bundle were numbered, so she took the logical step of looking at number one.

'Looking After Millicent, the complete guide, compiled by Lieutenant Mitaka, 1st Order'

Issy quickly double checked all the other bundle labels and wondered how one cant could generate that much information. The first data slate contained a list of all the subjects covered in the other data slates, a reference index, and a list of contributors to the guide.

Clunk, rattle, clunk

Issy looked around for the source of the noise, and saw a small ginger paw poking out of the air vent.  
"What the. . ."  
Rattle rattle, CTHUNK

A very smug looking Millicent jumped from the air vent, clearly pleased with herself for getting the grille off without any help. Issy noticed she was carrying something in her mouth, and was mildly surprised to have it dropped at her feet.

She carefully picked up the item, and saw it was an item of First Order standard issue men's underwear.  
"I have a bad feeling about this." 


	3. Chapter 2

The Adventures of General Hux's Cat-sitter

Authors notes – Thank you for the reviews, follows and faves, more Millicent Mayhem coming up

Chapter 2

Issy stared in mild horror at the underwear, how was she supposed to deal with this!?  
_Wait, the guide, it might have something that will help me!_

She grabbed the first data-slate again and began searching  
"Underwear. . . no. . . clothing. . . data-slate six, section 2, ok, I can do this, I can do this." she was shaking with nerves, something about the situation terrified her, and she could not quite work out what it was.  
"Right, Things Millicent does to clothes. . . ugh, that's a long list, wait, borrowing, that's one way of putting it, umm, see Data-slate 9, section 4, sub-section b. Just my luck."  
Issy reaches for the next data-slate when a loud shout could be heard from the corridor.  
"Where is that mangy furball, when I get my hands on her..."  
"Lord Ren, she hasn't come this way."  
Issy could feel that area of the ship vibrate with Kylo Ren's rage, she heard someone stomp past her door and to another area of the ship  
"Oh thank fuck he didn't destroy anything here." she heard the other voice say  
"Wonder what she did this time?"  
"We probably don't want to know."  
"True, lets get back to work before someone else comes and tells us off for slacking."  
Issy decided to take a closer look at the underwear, the sight of the name-tag filled her with dread. She quickly found a place to hide it, just in case, though she doubted it would be very effective against an angry Kylo Ren.  
"Ok, calm down, check the guide, data-slate nine, section . . . four, good, sub-section b, 'Borrowing of clothing, Millicent is known to occasionally borrow random items of clothing, if you find any such items, simply take them to the nearest laundry collection unit and leave them there to be processed. If the item/s of clothing should belong to Lord Ren, please inform General Hux using the TBMS. . . what the fuck is the TBMS, never mind, where is the nearest Laundry point, maybe those people outside are still there."  
She stuck her head out the door  
"Umm, excuse me, where is the nearest Laundry Collection Point?" she asked timidly  
"Just there." one of the technicians pointed to a droid unit a few meters away.  
"Thankyou!" she garbled as she raced to grab the underwear.  
She quickly stuffed the underwear underneath a couple of other items of clothing and hurried back to her quarters to find Millicent had made herself comfortable on the bed and was drifting off to sleep.  
"Well, this job isn't going to be boring, that's for sure." she sat down at the table again, and tried to find where she had been reading before Millicent had arrived, "I'll sort out contacting the General when my Orientation happens, unless I find out what the TBMS is for, unless. . . she took out her standard issue comm device and set it to contact Lieutenant Mitaka.  
"Umm Lieutenant, Millicent has done a thing."  
"We know, do you know where she is, and is Lord Ren anywhere near?"  
"Yes and I think no."  
"Oh good, did she have anything with her when you last saw her?"  
"Yes, the item has been placed in a nearby Laundry Collection Point."  
"Thank you, I'll let General Hux know, also, where is Millicent?"  
"Asleep on my bed."

"Ok, what item did she have?"  
"Underwear. . ."  
"Ohhhh Shhiiitttt."


End file.
